Anger is an emotion that comes up when we are not listened to, or our boundaries are not respected.
Our own personal boundaries are not up for discussion, they just are. Those around you don’t have to agree with them or validate them to have your boundaries matter.
It is very common that we don’t make our boundaries clear to those around us, maybe because we are not aware or maybe we think its common sense, however, if boundaries are to be respected , they need to be communicated to those around us.
Creating awareness around what and why things are happening in life starts with paying attention to how others are adding or subtracting to your story.
Don’t worry this is does not mean that everyone that does not do what you want has to get the boot, it’s just creating awareness of where you can set boundaries & set clearer expectations of how you expect to be treated.
You can transform from a tired martyr to a true role model.
On page 7 of my book “52 weeks of adventure and discovery for your soul” I have the perfect exericise called
“Define Our Relationships”
Our relationships play such a big role in our life. Yet many times we wander through all relationships with no boundaries. Boundaries can make your relationships so much more meaningful and much less painful. How often do you catch or don’t catch yourself frustrated with someone without realizing they have no idea why. Thinking things would work out if only the would listen to me. Communication and boundaries with those people we share out life with is essential in building strong and lasting relationships. So much our identity is tied up in our relationships. Our need to be “right” often overrides any other emotion in a relationship and this robs us of true and meaningful relationships.
To enable you to create a solution you need to change the way you look at the situation. Ask yourself, what assumptions an I making? Observe your thoughts and freely choose what to think next. You can focus your energy on making more meaningful relationships. All of our relationships should be win-win. Some relationship can be very damaging to our identity, very draining and toxic. We can’t control other people but we can take charge of our boundaries, what we need and want in our relationships. Take the time to understand and communicate boundaries and expectations of each person you have a relationship with. Developing your boundaries may be difficult; people may resist and want things to go back to how things were in the past. Remember that a problem can’t be solved at the same level it was created.
Change starts with you. <3
Great awareness questions:
- What are your relationships?
- What is your role in each relationship?
- What are your expectations and boundries in each relationship?
- How will you communicate your boundaries to each person?
- List 10 people and list what positive thing you would like to do for them to make them feel special and grateful.
Begin and end each day with a positive and grateful through about the special people in your life!
If you have my book “52 week of adventure and discovery for your soul” another great exercise would be “Raise your expectation” on page 10.
I use these same awareness questions each time I get frustrated with someone as a way to see why they are triggering that emotion in me. All anger & frustration does is steal your peace so the more situation’s you can diffuse this negativity from your vibration the more free you become.
Always remember what the Buddha said,
“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”
Here is a great forgiveness meditation that I use many day and especially when someone has triggered me.
Sending you so much love today and everyday,