A recurring theme has taken over my coaching sessions, angel parties, and own personal meditations lately and that is the simple idea to stop making decisions based on other people’s hopes/desires/wishes/requests/opinions/etc. We must let go of our need to meet other people’s expectations of us, and instead focus on what makes us happy. Asking the question “What lights me up?” has become a mantra for me, particularly since becoming a mother.
I know this is a difficult concept for many of you – especially as mothers, people-pleasers, healers, and light-workers, where all we want to do is help others and make the world a better place. The intention to make a difference and to bring more joy to the world is a much-needed energy and can bring about amazing and miraculous abundance when trusted, but too often, we get caught up in the requests, opinions, and desires of others. Can you guess what happens when we do this regularly? We lose our power, our energy is drained, resentment builds, unhappiness is created, and we often find ourselves feeling overwhelmed, under-appreciated, and un-loved.
Even when the intentions of others come from a loving place, or ‘wanting the best for us’, these people often do not understand the complexity of our heart and may not know the true desires and dreams we have for our journey.
So how can we create the abundance we hope and pray for, and create a win-win result for those we love as we make our own dreams come true? Here are 5 key steps to start living YOUR life, and to create even more happiness in your life and the lives around you:
- Get clear with what your dreams are. Many of us pursue goals/dreams because they are what our parents wanted for us, because it was the easy path, or because we are ‘good at it’. While this can sometimes work out, it is crucial that we are engaged in our own lives and choices, and that we find fulfillment in what we do and what we offer to the world. Take some time to think about what you love in this world and then come up with an action plan to achieve it. Write down some small shifts you can implement today to make your life more your own.
- Once you have a plan, take a look at your calendar. If you are anything like me, it is full. The important part of this step is to ensure your calendar is full of events, commitments, and activities that you love. Be certain you are committed to events that help you attain your goals, or that fill you up with joy. This can absolutely include things like helping your sister move, or going to family dinner, or relaxing on the couch. Balanced relationships, self-care, and play time are really important as they keep you in a manifesting high vibration. Just be sure there are joy-filled activities and things you are doing to make your dreams from step #1 come true.
- Keeping all this in mind, with your calendar and action items still in front of you, it’s time to prioritize. This step is crucial, ESPECIALLY if you are feeling burnt-out or ‘stuck’. Prioritizing your commitments allows you to decide what you need to stay balanced, happy, and appreciative of all the good in your life. No amount of action will create your dreams if you aren’t filled with gratitude along the way! Ask yourself what your top priority is at this moment, and be sure to schedule in time to make that happen! This may mean saying, “No”, so start practicing (if you need help, my books have some great tips, just like the one highlighted in the next step).
- With your priorities in check, you are ready to move forward with the courage to be honest, grateful, and loving, while still setting up clear boundaries. Once you’ve prioritized your life, you’ll likely find it easier to make decisions when asked/invited/encouraged. A simple gut check will let you know this opportunity is exciting and should be pursued, or just a simple ‘obligation’ you are going to dread or dislike. If this is the case, thank the person for the invitation, tell them you have another commitment, and wish them the best! If they cannot accept your honesty and well wishes, that is their own lesson to learn and you can simply send them love and light as you carry on.
- It’s important to recognize this, as it helps us to take the next step which is: get rid of the guilt associated with doing what you love. As I tell my clients, “At the end of the day, this is YOUR journey and you will look back on it with fondness or frustration…which do you desire?” As you begin to follow your own heart, you will find your days filled with much more joy, love, and peace. That sense of fulfillment that eluded you for so long will show up and stay, and you must realize that this version of yourself is a better friend, family member, and leader in your community. This happy version of you is better suited to be there for your friends as any resentment, sense of obligation, and exhaustion is gone. This idea alone should help you let go of any guilt!
We all desire more happiness and peace in our daily lives, and by spending some time clarifying what that looks like personally, we can move forward with more confidence, excitement, and eagerness to see what tomorrow brings!
Sending you clarity, love, and the courage to be YOU,
For more info on Lisa, visit her page here.